future ex-husband friday! carmageddon edition

it’s friday, y’all!  and you know what that means. it’s

this is also potentially the last ‘future ex-husband friday’ EVER as today marks the beginning of carmageddon.  for non-angelenos (or for angelenos who’ve been too high to care living under a rock), this means that we’re all going to die because our biggest freeway will be shut down for the entire weekend.  and this 10-mile, 2-and-a half day closure will undoubtedly unleash an army of kardashians zombies looking to exact revenge on our gas guzzling ways. or worst-case scenario, it’ll force me to wear un-cute shoes and walk places.

so since this may be my final will and testament entry, i feel a little extra pressure to make it good.  which means an extra nip of the vino is in order, right?

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future ex-husband’s name:  hot radiologist guy

future ex-husband’s occupation: radiology (duh…)

i'm assuming the "B" stands for booby?

coco asked if she could get a monogrammed sweater, instead.  the nice doctor sighed and said, “no”.  which was the same answer she gave when coco also inquired if she could just get tipsy and ask someone to feel her up.

since i’m going to have someone take my lovely lady lumps and slam them in a radioactive refrigerator door next week (pending we live post-carmaggedon), i’ve decided that my radiology person is going to be hot in an ‘ER-era-george-clooney, grey’s-anatomy’s-dr.-mcdreamy’ way. and more importantly, he will be TOTALLY future ex-husband material.

how he fake proposed: i took my shirt off and he fell to his knees…duh!

number of fake children: none. all the booby x-ray radioactivity made him sterile.  but it was ok…what we didn’t spend on condoms, i wisely invested in shoes.

why our fake marriage fell apart: he started doing kim kardashian’s mammograms and he decided he was more of an a$$ man.

terms of fake divorce settlement: coco got a 5-episode guest spot on ’keeping up with the kardashians’ and he got half his wages garnished.  seems pretty fair to me.

introducing the newest kardashian...koko kardashian

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happy friday, y’all!

UPDATE!  OMFG!  Anderson Cooper blames the Kardashians for Carmageddon!  Do you think he reads my blog?! 

 http://www.myfoxla.com/dpp/entertainment/anderson-cooper-on-carmageddon-20110715