i didn’t think i’d have a FEHF blog for y’all today. i’ve been thinking about potential FEHF candidates all week and was coming up with squat. there was the creepy landscaper/anti-gregorian calendar guy who had the ability to talk about wine with rain man precision… but since he was WAY more into my friend erica, i felt it would be unjust to claim him as my own. hos before potential serial killers bros, right?!
and just when i was ready to admit defeat, i found you. thank you, about-to-be-revealed future ex-husband, for saving this week’s FUTURE EX-HUSBAND FRIDAY!
let’s do this!
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backstory: so i’ve been completely addicted to SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE. i’m not really sure why i’ve come late to the SYTYCD worship party, but i’m glad i finally made it. and one of the best things about being a huge fan? it’s totally inspired me to get back in the dance studio in hopes i’ll be on the show one day.
and while i dance more like this delicate flower who auditioned in atlanta, a girl can dream…
my other dream? to marry contestent tadd goddamn-you-hot gadduang.
while he’s not neccesarily coco’s typical love interest, once i saw he could do this with a dishtowel, i knew i met THE ONE.
as mrs tadd gadduang, i wouldn't mind drying the dishes
but since tadd is all famous now that he’s in the top 4, my chances of bedding meeting him are shrinking by the minute. and if we did get married, there would be no way in hades that i’d divorce someone who can do this:
hi tadd, please note that i'm bendy and i know exactly two words in tagalog.
so yet again, i was left without a suitable FEHF candidate.
that is until another crazy hot asian guy oozing with talent found his way to me this afternoon…
future ex-husband’s name: artistic asian dude with a black sharpy and a vision
future ex-husband’s occupation: unemployed…duh!
future ex-husband’s best feature: his lady friend…duh!
how we fake met: at a SYTYCD audition
how he fake proposed: well, it’s kinda confusing because i’m not sure if he or she proposed….
why our fake marriage fell apart: i can’t draw.
terms of the divorce: two words: “restraining” and “order”
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keep dancing, y’all!
(thanks dlisted.com)
