oh my stars and garters, what a week! between fighting the baby aids via conference calls and spreadsheets and the unplanned tequila binges and obsessively checking to see if suri’s burn book has a new post, coco is TI-RED (note: ‘tired’ should be read with a southern diphthong for the correct effect as being dramatic is much more fun as a pretend southerner).
as such, i’m not sure i have it in me to bring you this week’s future ex-husband friday, but here’s a lil somethin-somethin to tide you over as i escape into the wine rack weekend:
1.) tara reid got married.
i choose to view this watershed event as god’s way of saying, “hey, coco….there’s still hope for you!”
2.) the palm springs posse is reuniting in hollywood this weekend. residents and hospitals within the TMZ…you have been warned.
3.) call guiness… i went on a date. like a real one…with a real boy. and he had a car and a job and a pleasant personality. and there were tattoos.
4. i saw andie macdowell at happy hour last friday.
while i’m pretty sure she didn’t see me back, i just know we’re going to be best friends forever.
5.) laundry has reached epic proportions. help.
6.) one of my coworkers is convinced i’m the ghost writer behind suri’s burn book.
Straight from Suri Cruise's burn book: "Oh, Zahara! Let’s be best friends. I made that exact same face when I saw your sister today. Twice in one week would be excessive for any item of clothing, let alone that ridiculous vest. And doesn’t she know that opening her mouth in public like that is how you get bird flu? Gross".
hey nobel prize people…you can can go shove it, because that may be the bestest honor i could ever have bestowed upon me, amen. but sadly, it’s not me.
or is it? muhahahahahah!
7.) it’s john stamos’ 48th birthday today.
and trust…i’d still hit it!
8.) need a cuteness overload? see this immediately: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/872765-is-this-the-cutest-picture-ever-cat-and-baby-deer-become-best-of-friends
but can you handle the cute?!
9.) k-fed had his fifth child this week. yes, fifth…
and strangely, none of them came from his stomach. since i have none, i’m hoping he’ll give me one…and fingers crossed it’s one from the britney litter.
10.) i’ve finally narrowed down my drag queen name choices to a) jane fondle or b) hillary wank. gotta love progress!
happy friday, party people!
